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          王阳明:真正成熟的人,看谁都顺眼

          作者:佚名来源:古典文学网发表于:2019-10-01 02:55:02阅读:

            你是否也会在别人背后议论纷纷,或者对某个人看不惯呢?

            那我们为何会看不惯别人?人家招你惹你了?还是你羡慕嫉妒恨了?

            这到底是一种什么心理?

            我们应该如何去改变自己的这种心理呢?

            这个世界,本就绚丽多彩

            俗话说:“大千世界,无奇不有”。

            若我们看到的天空只有蓝色这一种,那么夕阳西下的黄昏和晚霞我们将无缘看到;

            若我们看到的花儿全都是一种颜色,那么春意盎然、姹紫嫣红的鲜花我们将无缘看到;

            若我们看到的人群全都一种肤色、一种相貌,那么试问你还如何分辨呢?这个世界也将失去了活力和生机,到那时还有什么意思呢?

            故有无相生,难易相成,长短相形,高下相倾,音声相和,前后相随,恒也。——老子

            那些一直在变的其实才是唯一保持原本的,这样多样性、多元化的一切都在这个世界共存着。

            之所以我们看不惯别人,就是因为内心深处的“不认同”。

            实际上,这世间本无对错之分,大家都是独立的个体,每个人都有自己的想法和认知,再加上各自的生活阅历不同,导致对事物的观点也就千差万别了。

            若是将自己的价值观强加给别人,那就是道德绑架,一旦别人做的不合自己心意,就看不惯人家,这便是你的“小人之心”了。

            自古以来就有君子和小人之分。《论语》中有这么一句话形容二者:“君子坦荡荡,小人长戚戚”。试问谁不愿意亲君子远小人呢?

            孔子的弟子子贡曾与绿衣人辩论,子贡问他:“一年有几个季节?”绿衣人回答:“三季。”

            子贡说:“你错了,应该是四季才对。”但绿衣人坚持是:三季。后来子贡问师父孔子:“师父,一年不是应该有四季吗?为什么绿衣人硬要说是三季呢?”

            孔子说:“你看到的是四季,但绿衣人他从来没能活到第四个季节,所以他以为一年就只有三季。那你们俩都没有错,只是看到的事物不同而已。”

            本以为是别人眼光短浅,自己才是最正确的。殊不知这样大错特错。往往更成熟理智的人,看待事物比较全面,他们能够从心底里去包容并尊重彼此之间的差异性。

            而君子是不会在同一个问题上争论不休,直到达成一致。他们是会彼此欣赏,取长补短,即使两人争论再激烈,也不会影响到彼此的关系。

            北宋的司马光与王安石二人就是君子之交。

            他们算得上彼此的政敌,各自认为对方的主张太过荒谬,自己的主张才是最正确、最应该被采纳的。

            当司马光落难之时,皇帝让王安石来评价此人,王安石分别从人品、能力、才华等方面都夸赞连连,这才使得司马光得以保全。

            当王安石被朝中大臣弹劾之时,皇帝让司马光提点建议,司马光十分诚恳地说道:“此人嫉恶如仇,胸怀坦荡而又忠心耿耿,有一种君子之风。”

            这便是司马光与王安石的“君子之争”。

            在利益面前,人们尚且可以做到君子之争,更何况我们所看不惯的人大都跟自己毫不相关!

            内心藏风景,眼前无是非

            王阳明的学生曾经问到:“花在深山中自开自落,跟我的心有什么关系吗?”

            王阳明回答道:“你没看到这花时,花与心同归于寂,你来看它时,花的颜色一时亮白起来,你说这花在不在你心外?”

            往往你在生活中看到的事物,就是你的内心所想。

            换句话说,当自己看不惯别人时,觉得他浑身上下没有任何优点,实际上这些缺点也存在于自己的身上。

            这就是心理学所讲的“投射效应”。

            大文豪苏轼曾与好友佛印一起修禅之时,他问佛印:“你看我像什么?”“我看见你像一尊佛。”佛印回答道。

            谁知苏轼对佛印说:“我看你像牛粪。”说完便很开心地离开了。回了家,他将此事当作笑话讲给了苏小妹,这是苏小妹笑了笑说:“哥哥你又输给了佛印。”

            “因为佛印心中有佛,所以在他眼里万物就皆是佛;而在哥哥不能静下心来修禅,所以眼中自然而然也就看到不净之物了。”苏轼听完很是惭愧。

            正所谓“相由心生”。王阳明也曾说:“满街皆为圣人。”

            眼里有光,目光所及皆是美意;内心无花,似锦繁花与荒芜无差。

            生活中,若是你看不惯一个人,那么你应该先反思自己,为何要将注意力过多地投放到别人那里?

            你觉得别人不如你,不理解甚至还看轻别人,那这样你因此换来的“优越感”就会随时崩塌,根本无法扎根在你心里。

            毕竟当你内心感觉到一丝丝骄傲优越的时候,你其实已经输了,而且输得很彻底。

            一个人内心的满足应该是自我的充实,绝不是看轻别人而抬高自己。

            如果你能够不断地提升自己,开阔眼界,那么你的内心就会丰富多彩,所看的这个世界也一定是绚丽多姿的。

            最高级的修养,是接受他人的“不一样”

            时光总是匆匆而过,不知不觉你在看不惯他人一事上已经浪费了大把的时间,与其如此,倒不如多多完善自己,接受他人的“不一样”。

            将自己的标准强加于人,指指点点,似乎在彰显自己多牛,但其实这是自私,是强迫,是道德绑架。

            在看不惯的背后,掩藏了一颗强求的心。

            这个世界上没有完全相同的两个人,谁都是独一无二的,每个人都有自己的生活方式。

            对他人看不惯,实际上是自身的修养不够。

            往往真正有修养的人很低调,他们不会表现自己,他们能够尊重他人。谁都有选择的权利,你凭什么要对别人的生活指手画脚?

            我不同意你说的话,但我誓死捍卫你说话的权利。——伏尔泰

            现在人相处都讲究三观,到底何为三观呢?

            即人生观、世界观、价值观。

            三观不同的人相处会很累,之所以累,就是因为大家对同一事物的看法不同,观点不同,常常会争执不休。

            当你看不惯别人的时候,想想自己有没有被别人看不惯的地方,毕竟人无完人。

            若能“以责人之心责己,以恕已之心恕人”,那你离圣贤就不远了!

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